Why is the sea salty? Because of whale sperm - apparently!

Published: February 04, 2021

Clearly the age of idiocracy is upon us as google trends peaks out today with one burning question – why is the sea salty?

It’s a good question I guess, but before we get to the science part, let’s have a look at some of the reasons the less well educated are offering to the sheep-like somnambulists who believe everything they read on the internet.

The biggest notion about the salty ocean among what has to be a joking mass, is that whale sperm is in fact responsible for the salt levels in the world’s oceans. That’s right – whale sperm.

Yes God, Allah, Ganesh, or whoever, created whales with the soul purpose of filling the planet’s waters with enough reproduction fluid through feverish, unrelenting masturbation that they became a sodium-filled-soup designed to make us world-owning humans gag at the tiniest taste.

Despite the fact that whale populations are on the decline after over fishing to supply make-up products, blubber and skin for industry and clothing, and meat for exorbitant delicacies, some bright sparks think that a handful of whales could produce enough sperm to salt up the entire ocean.

Why stop there? Maybe it’s because whales urinate in there too. And not only whales, all ocean life has a bash at urophagia from time to time, even us humans who pay a visit to the oggin on our holidays will undoubtedly dip in and have a little tinkle when the cold hits our undercarriage.

Alright, enough sarcasm, why is the sea salty smartass?

Pay attention, here comes the science part. (Mila Jovovich was unavailable for the voice over).

All natural water contains chemicals which are broken down into tiny particles. They are referred to as ‘salt.’

Because the sea is a huge mass of water it is subject to evaporation, but when the surface water goes cloud-bound, the salt content remains in the ocean. The salt is made up of many different substances such as sodium, chlorine, sulphur, magnesium, calcium and potassium to name but a few.

These salts are also found in the soil and when the evaporated sea water precipitates it gather the salts and carries them back into he ocean. Other sources include minerals belched out by volcanic activity and underground quakes, shifts in tectonic plates and the like.

The oceans collected all their minerals from land masses and ocean bed rock formations and that is why the sea is salty.

Whale sperm indeed…

Share your thoughts on this article, or perhaps the state of the human mind, by leaving a comment.

Read about Urophagia, Michael Jackson’s sperm count, artificial insemination, IVF, sperm-ruining-cola, and scientists close in on male contraceptive pill (which might no be a bad idea).

images: coolantarctica.com, teesbox.com

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Published February 04, 2021 by Lee in Health News